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Dr. Kathryn Smerling’s blog reflects her thoughtful approach. It is intended to provide readers with both philosophical and practical advice, which can be integrated into their lives. This approach supports her belief that therapy is not limited to the office or the couch, but instead provides a powerful choice for a better life overall.

Please feel free to comment on the blog and engage in conversation with Dr. Smerling. You’ll also find recommended readings associated with the blog that may help in furthering your understanding of the topics covered.

Ashley Madison

Five years ago, a couple walked into my office with a crisis - the husband’s infidelity. This was not unusual for me as a family therapist. What was a first in my practice, was that “Ashley Madison” was the other woman! Since then, Ashley Madison has generated 37...

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When Too Much Is Not Good Enough

In 1953, David Winnicott coined the term “the good-enough mother.” In short, his work gave mothers permission to be more human and less perfect. We can be great mothers even if we cannot meet our children’s needs 100% of the time. Winnicott eased the minds and souls...

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My Parent’s Home

I just returned from Florida where my sister and I spent four days deconstructing my parents’ home. Both Mom and Dad passed within the last couple of years – and we just sold their house after a series of rentals.It’s been bittersweet and liberating at the same time....

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Deflection and Denial

Andrew Cuomo is my new unlikely hero; unlikely, since my heroes are usually spiritual leaders like the Buddha and the Dalai Lama. Sandra Lee, Cuomo’s partner, was diagnosed with breast cancer and chose to have a double mastectomy. Since her diagnosis, Mr. Cuomo has...

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New York Post article on New Luxury Playtime Perks

Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D. recently quoted in April 23rd's New York Post article on New Luxury Playtime Perks. "No child will appreciate the joy of sharing an intimate experience with a parent if this is the norm" - Upper East Side Family Therapist Kathryn Smerling.

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A Marriage Recipe!

On April 21, 2015, my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary! Our marriage (after so many years) works pretty well…but it is definitely not an automated machine. Rather, it is a relationship of process – of mindfulness and respect, which still needs...

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Opting Out

Thank goodness it’s March! And with March comes March Madness, Spring Break, tulips, Daylight Savings Time, a glimpse of the sun and longer days. Goodbye to February, which for me was a month of somnolence.January came in with a roar, an optimistic beginning, filled...

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Shake or Stir?

This past month seems to have been all about random acts of violence. Witnessing the MetroNorth train crash, the terrorist attacks in Paris and Denmark and the tragic death of Bob Simons, coupled with the coldest days in two decades, can drive us into hibernation and...

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Physical Challenges

I have a confession to make: I am an undiagnosed dyslexic! I cannot tell my right from my left. I cannot follow directions; nor, am I able to give directions. I am challenged spatially. It’s a longstanding joke in my family that I often walk diagonally, listing to the...

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